


sleeping with giants (lifetime)

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-07
Updated: 2012-07-24
Packaged: 2019-01-19 07:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 7,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12406047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: things to remember (and never forget). a collection of unrelated moments in time. drabbles.





	1. this love isn't good unless, it's me & you

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  


Exhaling, she watched the plume of steam escape her mouth and disperse into the cold air when she felt a warmth tickling at the back of her ear.

“Hey, have you been waiting long?”

Turning, she grinned at the boy as he grabbed her cold hands and laced them with his warmer ones as they began walking down the street.

“You’re late.” She chided, playfully knocking him in the shoulder.

Grinning, he pulled her closer and tucked their interlaced hands inside his coat pocket.

 

 

 

_Stick your hands inside of my pockets,  
_

_Keep them warm while I'm still here.  
_

_Tell them this love hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me at all._

 

 

 

\-----------

**reviews & feedback always adored!**   



	2. dreaming with a broken heart

 

He knew very well the kind of reputation he had – it was the kind that exceeded anything like what he was really like. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself really, he had let it manifest out of control for so long that now it was beyond repair – too late for any form of damage control. People had made up their minds about how he was like, and the younger kids – well, they heard the stories.

But he changed. Things were different, _he_ was different – but the reputation stuck. Even with his shiny Head Boy badge, his neatly gelled hair and his toned down behavior, she still managed to give him the exasperated looks he had grown so accustomed to. And every time she did, he would be back to _that_ place again.

 

_You’re such a bullying toe-rag!_

 

There was a title for him, people called it ‘guys like him’. And he wondered what it would be like… to be the other kind of guy, the type you took home to meet your parents. That would be nice.

 

_You think I am the Devil, but only because I have lived in hell. I want to get out._

\---------

**This is not a loving memory, but it is a memory that James remembers all the time to remind himself why he changed to become a better person.**   



	3. we are like bricks on gas pedals

 

 

They group of them had been stumbling down the street with a drunken sway when he had casually slung his arm over her shoulder pulling her closer. She wasn’t too sure whether it was because she didn’t really care or because she was too drunk to care, but she let him get away with it. 

Just like how she also let him get away with lowering his arm and resting it on her waist when the group of them began to drunkenly sing Hagar, the handsome hippogriff.  She didn’t seem to care too much either when he lowered his hand once again, this time intertwining their fingers and holding her hand tightly as the group of them raced down the dark narrow tunnel that would lead them back to Hogwarts.

It was only when they tumbled out from behind the tapestry of Sir Nobile Nick did someone else pick up on the little moment they had been sharing. 

“Is that … hand holding I see…?” 

As they untangled their fingers, she realised that she cared an awful lot for him to be holding her hand again right now.


	4. always where i need to be

The party had been in full swing, music pounding loudly through the room when he had come up and stood beside her.

She could tell he was quite intoxicated by the way he had staggered over – but then again, who was she to judge when all she could see were in multiples of threes.

“I think I like you better way…” he slurred almost clumsily as the words left his mouth . “You’re more.. docile. Yeaahhhhh, that’s the word – docile, this way.”

Truth be told, she was too dizzy to care but for appearances sake she punched him lightly on the shoulder. Stumbling, he grabbed a hold of her clenched fist as she noted how small her hands were in comparison to his.

“Don’t” he mumbled as he regained balance, looking at her through thick lashes 

“Don’t ruin the moment okay?”

 

 

 

_They say this thing between us is getting old, but I think of it more like vintage love._


	5. bigger boys & stolen sweethearts

She spent the entirety of charms watching him.

She noticed how his tie was slightly crooked and his trousers a little too short as they skimmed around his ankles when he sat.

He wasn’t particularly handsome, but one could say he was attractive in the rugged sense. His smile was slightly crooked, and he was somewhat rough around the edges as she noted his windswept hair and impressive collection of Quidditch scars – her eyes lingering on the long scar on his left arm and his callused hands.

Taking note of his freshly laundered, but lightly crumpled white shirt, she concluded that he would smell nice – like a combination of clean laundry and spices.

Too bad she knew how he was really like – it would have been lovely to spend the rest of her life with someone like him. 

_"And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." -- C.S Lewis  
 _


	6. la douleur exquise

Less than two weeks ago, they were dating – _were_ being the operative word. He had wanted to take things up a notch whereas she was afraid as to how fast they were moving. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, she probably always would. They were just on different pages of the book and so, like all young relationships, it took a turn for the worse and things ended.

She had been sitting at dinner between Alice and Maureen when he had waltzed in, arm slung lazily over Emmaline’s shoulders. She watched the scene unfold in front of her with a silent anticipation, her heartbeat the only sound she could hear pounding through her ears.

Like slow motion, she watched as he swooped down to whisper something lovingly in Emmaline’s ear before pressing a kiss on her temple as she nuzzled his chest giggling.

Huh, so this must be how it feels to have your heart break.

 

 

 

_I was reminded, the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. The urgency you felt will always be there. The love you professed will always be there - the spark of something undeniable. The seed of hope, burning fiercely below the surface_.

 

**\--------**

**sorry guys, had to re-upload this. missed a sentence when i uploaded it last night - oops!**


	7. chemistry of a car crash

It was like a car crash and that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from. The scene continued to replay itself in slow motion over and over again in his mind until he felt sick to his stomach.

He wanted to pretend it didn’t hurt, that it didn’t matter. He wanted to block it all out of his mind but all he could hear was her brilliant laughter ringing through the empty corridor while she fumbled clumsily to unknot the ribbon in her hair. 

With a soft thud and a sharp click of the lock, the heavy oak door of the broom closet closed as it sealed away her laughter, cloaking the corridor in a blanket of silence that jolted him back to reality. 

Pulling off his own cloak of invisibility, he stood frozen on the spot as the recent turn of events began to slowly sink in. He wanted to hate her, be revolted, but all he could feel was the silent shattering of his heart.

Seeing Lily Evans fumble into a broom closet with Amos Diggory was just that, a car accident he had played witness to. How he wish so badly he could have torn his eyes away.

 

 

\-----

**a little darker piece. they're not dating - but James is just heartbroken for having to witness 'the love of his life' stumbling into a broom closet with another boy.**

**EDIT: I've also taken into account what some of you have said & i agree and have removed the 'offending' sentence. Sometimes when you re-read something so many times these things tend to slip under you.**


	8. don't take me for granted

_Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote,_  
"No man, for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true."  
 

 

 

She wasn’t really his type. She was prim and proper, dull and a kill-joy if anything and for that he greatly disliked her. 

Perhaps that was why he had chosen her to pick on to begin with – it was fun. Fun to see her flush scarlet as the flirtatious sentences rolled off his tongue with ease. Fun to see her eyes light up with anger as she would begin her tirade of foul language. 

Then towards the end of fifth year, he had realised how much of a kick it was to actually ask her out. Everything that gave him kicks from picking on her only grew to entertain him that much more. 

“Evans, go out with me” he heard the words casually rolling off his tongue once again. 

As her face lit up in preparation for her tirade he couldn’t help but feel confused. Fact was, he now knew she wasn’t a kill-joy – she was merely someone with morals who stood by them, and for that he admired her. She wasn’t prim and proper, he had heard more than enough words sprout from her mouth to prove otherwise and more than anything she wasn’t dull – she perhaps had provided him with more entertainment than any other girl he had ever been with.

Somewhere along the line something had changed and for the first time ever, James Potter had no idea where he stood in the midst of things.

 

 

**\-----**

**Sorry guys! went MIA for a bit. I just got too caught up with everything in the real world for a while :(**

**My writing is probably a bit rusty & not up to scratch so hopefully you can forgive me this one time :)**   



	9. simple kind of life

  
Turning the page of her book, she looked out to the dimly lit grandfather clock in the hallway. Quarter to five and he still wasn’t back. She hated the full moons in winter, he would always be out later and in turn, she would stay up all night squirming about with worry.  
  
Pulling her blanket up to cover her bare neck, she turned her attention back to the small words on the page when she felt a sudden chill slide under her as a hand took hold of the spine of the book.  
  
Closing her eyes as the coolness of his skin pressed against her temple, she felt his warm breath tickling at her ear as he whispered, “Tell me when to turn the page, ‘kay?”  
  
Silently nodding, she intertwined her fingers with his free hand as her eyes strayed back to the words on the page.   
  
She never did manage to stay up long enough for him to turn the page for her - this time or any other time for that matter, but she still loved the entire notion of it all just the same.   


 

 

\--------

**Sorry guys, I will get around to replying to all your comments soon soon soon! _Life_ is just eating away at me alive!**   



	10. love lockdown

She watched the end of his quill swaying gently in the air as he scrawled hastily across the parchment. Sighing, she looked back down at her half of what was seemingly an endless pile of paperwork.  He had discipline – she had to admit that.   
  
As her mind began to wander, she realised she couldn’t even remember how or when they had exactly become friends. But at this very moment in time, she knew she very well might have loved him.  
  
No – scratch that. She knew she loved him. Somehow, he had become a very important part of her life and now she could barely begin to even imagine a life without him in it. She had spent enough time with him to know she could easily fall madly _in_ love with him, but that was the one thing she had discipline enough not to do.   
  
Perhaps she would be the one losing out in the long run, but the mere idea of allowing herself to get completely lost in someone scared her senseless. She could fall madly in love with him, but that would mean that she would _need_ him, _rely_ on him and she was too strong a character for that. She knew very well that the loss of her independence would only result in resentment towards him.  
  
She loved him, but she knew better than to fall in love with him. She needed to be selfish – she loved him far too much to ever want to resent him.

 

 

_I can’t keep myself and still keep you too_

**\-------------**

**I have been wandering the land known as WriterousBlockius. It's not a fun place to be trust me :(**   



	11. everyone would rather watch you fall

She was a proud person – and she knew it. Though, that isn’t to say that she wasn’t a fair person either. As Head Girl, she knew the importance of hearing both sides of the story, the importance of gathering as much information as possible before making an ‘informed decision’.

However, she knew that above all else, when it came to matters involving James it was her pride that kept her in check. 

For if it weren’t for her pride, she would have become another one of those finicky girls long ago – because let’s face it, when the most charming boy in school has been at your total adoration for the past four years of your adolescent life; he becomes somewhat difficult to ignore. Especially when he was slowly growing into what can only be described as the ideal _man_.

She would only need to remember the shocked looks and hushed whispers from the first time they had both amiably stepped out as Head Boy & Girl to shake her from her reverie.  She was a proud person – and there was far too much pride riding on this for her to even acknowledge the fact that with each passing day, she grew closer and closer to return his sentiments.

 

 

_You know the one thing you’re fighting to hold  
Will be the one thing you’ve got to let go._


	12. grow old together

She had always known that one day Potter would be the end of her – she just hadn’t realised his handiwork would take its’ toll so early on in her life. 

Analysing her face in the mirror, she ran her finger across the light creases that were beginning to appear on her forehead. Taking a step back, she scrunched her face in distaste only to stare back in shock realisation that it was this very action that had etched these same lines into her porcelain skin. 

\---------

He had been sitting at breakfast – _alone_ – when she had come storming down the stairs in a huff. He sat in silence as he watched her pulverize the stack of pancakes in front of her, wondering which poor sod had dared to offend her so early in the morning.

As the pancake destruction continued, he couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked without her make-up on as he watched her angry blush creep up from behind her faint freckles when he noticed the tiny little crease that appeared on her forehead. He wondered as to what other marvellous little details he had missed and itched to move closer to have a better look when he decided against it as he looked at the doughy mess sitting on her plate clearly displaying now was not the ideal time. 

Though that little crease, he would be sure to keep an eye on it. Perfectly aware as to where he stood in Lily’s eyes, he could only begin to imagine what Lily would look like when she was old and wrinkly. He would cherish this little crease – a fold in her skin so light that he would have never picked it up any other day, but what was seemingly the only outlook he had as to what her future may bring.

 

 

 

 

 

**\--------**

**There's something off about the last paragraph - i've re-read it a thousand times and I just can't seem to reword it right. Or maybe it's just me... I dunno...**

**I'm also going to thank everyone for leaving me comments & feedback, because I know i've gotten quite slack on replying to each of you individually and now i'm so backlogged I can't get back into the mindset of those certain chapters to reply :/ Just know I am forever grateful to everyone who leaves a comment and i'm truly sorry I can't get back to replying to you individually :( **

**And to briefly answer a popular question - The lines you see at the end/the titles are usually lyrics or quotes. Every now and then it is random babble I make up.**


	13. on love, in sadness

He closed his eyes as he felt the warm sun envelop his face, embracing him as though it were a second skin.

With Summer slowly creeping its’ way around the corner, he could feel his Quidditch star status burning down to an ember as he slowly began his return journey to being ‘normal’ – whatever normal may be. 

Perhaps it was the warm weather – though his love for Quidditch was undeniable, he had always been a child of the sun. 

Nodding in response to the melodic voice, he didn’t need to open his eyes and see her reaction. Her face had already been burnt into the back of his eyelids.

 

Or maybe it’s just you – you breathe me back to life.

 

He wondered how different things would have been if he were given a chance to start anew; perhaps they could have been more than just friends. In a parallel universe this would have been _their_ moment, a moment they could steal and run away with together because that would be all that he needed.

 

Dust me off, polish me up – we’ll pretend I’m not flawed.

 

He could come back to life, shiny and new for her – someone different to the boy she knows so well. Someone different to the boy she had come to dislike. But what difference would it really have made? He knew that if you scratched the surface, there wasn’t anything to show. There wasn’t anything hiding in his shell of a body that could have come remotely close to matching any fiber of that caliber in hers.

They were moments rewound, a tiny million nuances in the past that had shaped what they had become. He could have been her greatest love, but he needed her to believe him first.

 

 

 

 

_well it's the hurt I hide that fuels the fires inside me_

 

\-------

**I got a bunch of new music and now I'm vomiting stories out left right and center all of a sudden.**

**Just trying something a little different to my usual writing style - hope it all makes sense :)**

**The chapter can be left up to interpretation (so skip this bit if you understood the chapter in your own way), but to clarify what I can already assume will cause some confusion - Summer is here and the Quidditch season has ended (at least, i assume there is a 'Quidditch Season' of sorts) - hence the return to being normal.  
**

 


	14. locked hearts & hand grenades

She first kissed him on a Sunday.

After it had happened, she had simply written it off as an act of drunken debauchery. After all, they both had their places in society to maintain – he was the playboy who knew of no consequences and she was the girl with a heart locked in an iron box who only knew _too_ well of the consequences because of boys like him.

She should have known better, but they were drawn to each other like a moth to a flame. 

That evening, as he wrapped his arms around her in the dimly lit hallway, she could tell that she was beginning to grow too attached. Her heart had skipped a beat as she felt the warm rush from her stomach rise to her cheeks, dusting them a soft pink. 

She was losing her touch – she had allowed herself to get too caught up in the moment for far too long. Prying herself from his arms, she stood motionlessly as she heard the words tumble out of her mouth before she could even process them into a coherent sentence – “Is this – you and me – are we… what are we doing?”

His hazel eyes looked back at her curiously as he stayed silent for a moment. She could tell that unlike her, he was carefully choosing his words.

“Does anyone really know what they’re doing? I don’t know… we’re hanging out? We’re having fun?”

Huh… how ironic, unlike her he was exactly everything he was said to be.

She hadn’t realised when, but she had obviously averted her eyes elsewhere as she had waited for his response, afraid of what she would have seen. As the brick wall slowly came into focus, she could feel the back of her throat burn as the words left her mouth like sandpaper, 

“Right. That’s pretty much what I expected your answer to be.”

Closing her eyes as she fought to keep hold of her unshed tears, she turned to walk away leaving only the echoing sound of her heels clicking on the stone floor. 

 

She really should have known better. 

 

 

 

 

_But you think that I can't see_  
What kind of man that you are,  
If you're a man at all. 

__**\-------**

**This piece is obviously from Lily's POV. There will be a follow up piece written from James'**

**Thanks to everyone who has left feedback. I know I don't get the chance to respond to each of you individually like i used to - but I appreciate everything you write :)**


	15. find me to forgive me

“Is this – you and me – are we… what are we doing?”  
  
He looked at her curiously. Could she possibly be feeling the same way he was? He knew what she was supposed to be like – she was the girl with the iron heart – invincible, infallible.  
  
But he had since seen a different side of her, and she was anything but heartless. She put on a good act, but underneath it all she was just another girl, if not more fragile. She was obviously protecting herself from something, someone.   
  
Someone like him.  
  
He knew of his reputation which did little but help serve as a reminder as to how disastrously this could all end. She deserved so much more than he could offer – but he was selfish, he wanted her too much to let her go. He would have to choose his words carefully, consider them as his warning of sorts. What she would choose to do afterward would completely be in her hands.  
  
“Does anyone really know what they’re doing? I don’t know… we’re hanging out? We’re having fun?”  
  
He watched her staring blankly at something behind his head as the silence of anticipation began to ring painfully in his ears. The seconds began to drag on like hours when she eventually spoke,  
  
“Right. That’s pretty much what I expected your answer to be.”  
  
He watched her back as she began to quickly make her way down the hall - away from him. If this was what he wanted, then why could he feel his heart sinking lower with each click of her heel as she walked away? He had analyzed the situation wrong, misread everything. He had judged their entire relationship on everyone’s preconceived notions.  
  
He really should have known better.  


 

 

 

 

_Do you see what we've done?  
We've gone and made such fools of ourselves._

**\-----**

**erm.. I changed the quote in the previous chapter. I think it works better this way.**

**maybe a part three.. but i like how this ties up. a part three would really defeat the purpose of a drabble... we'll see. i'm rambling now.. review always adored :)**   



	16. starstruck

Taking another bite of her pumpkin pie, she quickly skimmed through the film reviews as she flicked to the next page of her copy of Witch Weekly. She was fast approaching the end of the magazine yet Alice still had not shown up for lunch. 

This time she allowed her eyes to trawl a little longer on the Dress Robe of the week segment as she put another spoonful of pie in her mouth before lazily turning the page. 

Great. Horoscopes.

She had always believed that horoscopes were absolute rubbish – the rare times she had bothered reading them, they were usually so far off from her life she would have to literally go out of her way and jump hurdles to make them come remotely true. Nevertheless, Alice was still not here and looking at the few remaining pages left in her magazine, she wasn’t too sure what else she could do to kill time.

Frowning a little, she took another bite as she scanned the page for the symbol of two little fish. 

 

> _"You may not like going back on your word, but who says you cannot reconsider an offer? Mercury connects with Jupiter making this a good week for signing the dotted line where a relationship matter is concerned."_

 

 

_Yeah right, when pigs fly._

Scoffing, she flicked the page once again only to notice that Alice had now finally taken a seat beside her.

“So, any good gossip this week?”

Closing the magazine, Lily turned to smile at her friend, “Nope, Just the usual.”

 

 

 

**\---------**

**hello. long time no see - i've been MIA. busy with the real world.**

**my writing is out of practice and most likely not up to scratch, so please bare with me until i find my bearings again! hopefully my next sudden hiatus will not last thing long!**

**big thanks to all who review <3**


	17. things to remember (and never forget)

**A foreword: When I started this set of drabbles, I had intended for it to have a conclusion. I had planned an ending for this story in my mind from the moment I had begun typing the very first chapter. Infact, the inspiration for these drabbles was based entirely on this one quote I had written (you will get to it at the end of this chapter).**

**But I can see now that that is not possible. Most, if not all of these pieces are loosely based on my little life stories (perhaps that is why I have not been updating as much lately - I have been quite unlucky in love!) To put it simply, these are all the little things I want 'to remember (and never forget)'. Story summary right there.**

**I however am an impatient person and have thought about ending this numerous times just so I could finally release this final chapter. Having said that, I am enjoying this entire process far too much to want to end it anytime soon - so instead, here it is. What would have been the very final chapter.**

**Enjoy it for what it is, and thanks for reading my longer than usual ramble.**

**\-------**

 

_In the short time that I learned how to fly,_  
Would you forgive me,   
Or being flowers to me, by the grave.  
Will you look the same when I meet you up there,  
Remember my name, find me to forgive.

 

 

Waking up with a pain in his neck, he looked around the unfamiliar stone room he was in. With nothing else in sight but a black billowing curtain which he could only conclude as being the exit, he ruffled his hair awkwardly, finally convinced he was lost.

 

As he took a tentative step towards the curtain, he could feel the warm breeze gently blowing from the other side – a vast difference to the overall cool temperature of the stone room he was currently standing in. Perhaps he would recognise something on the other side of the curtain. Taking another step forward, this time with more certainty – he would have made it through the thin black veil if it were not for the strange feeling in his heart that held him back.

 

He was forgetting something. Something important.

 

Scratching his head in confusion, he stepped back toward the center of the room in defeat. Whatever this something was, he was not going to leave until he could remember. Digging through his memories, he tried hard to remember something that could explain as to how he had arrived here, but his mind drew an absolute blank. It seemed odd that he couldn’t remember much, or anything at all. All he could remember was the bright flash of green before his world went dark.

 

Focusing even harder on this one small moment, he tried to remember what it was that he was forgetting, and like water trickling down a dry riverbed, it all slowly started to come back to him – those two fated words.

 

_Avada-Kedavra._

 

Then the floodgates opened.

 

_“You’re late.” She chided, playfully knocking him in the shoulder. You’re such a bullying toe-rag! “Is that … hand holding I see…?” “Don’t ruin the moment okay?” “Evans, go out with me” “Tell me when to turn the page, ‘kay?”_

 

Lily. He had left Lily behind. And Harry.

 

He couldn’t leave here. He couldn’t leave this room now. Not knowing what he remembered, what he had left behind. How else would they find him? How else would Lily find him when she finally arrived? No, he would wait, he didn’t know how long – but he knew he would have to wait until she arrived.

 

His train of thoughts was interrupted when her heard her familiar voice, “James, where are we?”

 

 “Oh Lily, you’re here”, he breathed softly as he enveloped her in his arms, feeling her warmth engulf him as she sniffed softly into his shoulder.

 

_Things to remember (and never forget):-_  
Teeth marks on skin  
Warm arms to shield you from the world  
Steady heartbeats & slow breathing  
Kisses goodbye  
Rainbows after the rain  
Warm breaths on damp skin  
My hand in your pocket  
The exquisite pain

**  
\----**

**see you next update! reviews always adored. x**

**mystery spell** \- I hope you're reading this - I want to get in touch with you with a proposition, but I can't find any way to contact you via this website! if you could email on wolfnation.xATgmail.com, I would love to hear from you!  <3


	18. keep it secret, keep it safe

_I treat her just like all the rest_  
Whisper fairytales of Neverland  
Throw the pennies in her hand  
Stroke her hair and tell her I've been cheating

 

 

 

He could hear Sirus’ words echoing in his mind. How long did he really intend on staying with her? It was different this time, right? He had good intentions – he had even told her best friend Alice so.

 

_You know how you are… how will you be in six months’ time? Will your ‘good intentions’ still be present? Or will you be with someone else behind her back? She’s not stupid you know…_

 

No, she wasn’t. At the beginning he had played his usual cards – the compliments, the sweet talk, the offerings of expensive gifts. Though it had all backfired marvelously - she had turned it all down without even batting an eyelash. He was no better off from where he started in his attempt to grace her good books. Yet somehow they were finally here.

It was different this time.

 

_Alice, you know I could have any girl I wanted – but I have for some stupid unknown reason fallen in love with your friend. She won’t even bat an eyelash at me – can you **honestly** tell me that my reputation is that bad?_

 

He never really believed in the thrill of the chase. Easy catches, that’s where it all lay for him. Why work up a sweat when they all just fell at your feet? At least, that _had_ been his theory; easy come, easy go.

Then she came along.

He had never had to work so hard in his entire life to prove himself to anyone, and now here he was bending over backwards trying be someone good enough for her.

It was different this time – the tables had turned and he was certain that when she finally saw through his act, she would leave. Then where would he be?

Absolutely heartbroken.

 

 

 

\-----

**heartbroken like me :(**

**where have all the reviewers gone!!! this is all but very disheartening :(**


	19. the yellow brick road

_Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.._

 

 

She loved moments like these the most – when the air was crisp and the grass damp, still laced with morning dew.  She loved the stillness of the Quidditch Pitch as it stood vacant and silent under a blanket of morning fog.

 

She had been watching the sun gracefully rise behind the eastern wing of the castle when the outlines of a very messy head of hair began to slowly come into focus as he made his way towards her through the fog.

 

Closing her eyes as his warm lips pressed lightly on her temple, she clasped her hands around the warm cup of coffee he had brought for her as she watched him kick off the ground, darting gracefully in the air as he disappeared into the fog.

 

_Here's my secret; keep it safe.  
I clicked my heels & wished for you._

 

**\-----**

**Lily waiting for James to start Quidditch Practice.**

**Reviews always adored.**


	20. love took her heart like a thief

All it took was a glimpse.

 

 

She didn’t even know how she had managed to see him amongst all the people – but all it took was one glimpse and everything that she had been building for the last few months came crashing down.

 

She had been trying – quite hard, might she add - to wipe him out of her life.

 

And at that moment she hoped never to catch another glimpse of him again. It was all too hard to be okay when she knew he could be happy without her.

 

 

_To truly overcome sadness, one must allow hope to die._

 

**\--------**

**i've replied to the comments from the last chapter now. thanks to all those who review :)**


	21. should you return

She was back in _that_ place again.

 

She had been adjusting rather well to a life without him. They were never meant to be anything more than a summer fling to begin with - she knew that. Having ended a little over two months ago, she knew she had been hanging on to that last thread of hope for far too long and with summer having pulled to a close a little over a week ago, she decided that it was time to finally let go.

And so she did.

 

Though he still crossed her mind every now and again, everything else had managed to fall right back on track. That is, until Sirus threw that ball of paper at her head during Potions today.

 

_Are you on patrol tonight?_

 

Great. She had spent the greater part of the last three months trying to pretend he no longer existed and how his so-called best friend was pelting paper at her. She couldn’t very well pretend she hadn’t read the damn thing – he had watched her like a hawk as she hastily unraveled the scrap of paper. Agitated and flustered, she quickly scrawled her reply on the back before tossing it neatly back towards him.

 

_Yes I am. Why?_

 

Why indeed? Because of course she would never know… the prick never replied after that.

 

**\-----**

**two parts. second part coming soon. feedback always adored. until next time!**


	22. by my side

 

Should you return... by my side.

 

 

A fling, they had said.

 

Why he had ever agreed to it in the first place was beyond him. He should have told her upfront that he wanted something more. But of course, as life goes – she hadn’t wanted him in that way, and so a fling it was.

 When they had parted a little under three months ago, he thought everything would have been okay. Oh how wrong he was! Everything had spiraled out of control so quickly; it suddenly became all too easy for their last words to end on a most bitter note. As a result, they had taken to ignoring each other as he took to aimlessly assuming the motions of routine with each passing day.

 

 

He had been careful with choosing the time to approach her – it needed to have been late enough for him to catch her on her own, late enough so that even the prestigious title of Head Girl would not allow for her to be roaming the halls.

 He knew from past experience – when things were still good, before they had gone and had that bloody fling and ruined everything – this would be about the time that she would be returning to the dorms from patrol. Though just incase, he had kept a steady eye on the map as he sat in an isolated corner of the common room until he saw that she was rounding her last corridor.

Twisting his fingers nervously, he quickly put away the map as he waited for her to climb through the portrait. He knew this would be his one and only chance at fixing things; Lily was not a forgiving person.

As he shakily raked a hand through his hair, he began to mentally prepare his speech when her voice cut through the silent room – “Potter, what on earth are you doing at this ungodly hour… I swear if you are waiting for those oth –-“

 Without giving her a chance to finish, he crossed the short distance between them enveloping her in a hug as he breathed breathlessly into her mess of fiery curls,

 

“Please, I need us to be us again. I can’t do this without you..”

 

 

_There are no rules for this love_  
Just keep your head and don't give up  
Or call the fools who play it smart  
Lose your head just for your heart.

 

**\-----**

**A little longer than usual, incase you have not worked out, this was the accompanying piece to 'Should you return'. So that is why Sirius pelted paper at Lily. So our lovers could meet and reunite.**

**Apologies for any errors I may have missed - it's rather late and I only had one quick check through. feedback always adored :)  
**

 


	23. i remember hearts that beat

 

 

 

Cantaloupe.

That was his favourite colour.

He remembers the first time their fingers intertwined, her nails a glossy shade of pinky orange. Bold, girly, dainty and delicate all rolled into one. He remembers how perfectly _her_ the colour was.

_“… I do”_

And at that very moment as he stood there slipping the ring on her finger, her nails, well, they were cantaloupe.

 

_And it's you and me and all of the people  
and I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

 

 

\-------

**Wow.. a year. I've been gone for over a year. I never intended to leave for so long.. I was just so busy living life. My writing is definitely rusty, but let's try picking it up from here.**

**Reviews always adored.**


	24. head, shoulders, knees & toes

  
She had laid silently on his lap watching the fire as he flicked through his notes.   
  
“Would you still love me if I had no arms?” she asked softly as she traced circles on his knees.   
  
He chuckled softly causing him to rumble gently beneath her head “Of course I would silly.”   
  
“What if I had no arms _and_ no legs?... at all” she continued, now turning to look up at him.  
  
Without a moments hesitation he answered, “Yes Lily, I would.”   
  
“What if I had no arms and no legs and… _no nose_?” she cried sitting up “What if I had no arms, no legs, no nose and no…”  
  
Before she could finish, he swept her up kissing her gently on her temple as her whispered in her ear “I would love you if you had no arms, no legs, no nose, no ears and were blind. I would love you no matter what.”

 

_  
_

_She smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles  
When the world is hers and she held your eyes_

 

\-------

**so lovely to know I have been missed, i've missed you all too.**

**still trying to get back in the swing of things...**

**reviews always adored.**


	25. beautiful secrets

 

 

“I’ll fly her home”.

As he hummed softly to himself, she watched the scenery sweep by; a blurry haze of inky blues before eventually slowing as he landed softly outside her house.

“Well,” she paused nervously as she climbed off the back of his broom. “Um, thanks for the ride I guess?”

Looking up she caught the look on his face. Something was amiss; something she couldn’t quite place her finger on. It was almost as though he was hesitant about something. Something had changed in that very moment, she just wasn’t sure what.

 

 

_After all... he's just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him._

 

 

**\------**

**hope this piece made sense. it is a little ambiguous.**

**Sadly the real world is sucking me back in, so hopefully I will be back very soon.  
**

**reviews always adored.**


	26. running to stand still

 

 

He never felt as invincible, as infallible, nor as free as when he was in the air.

 

Born into one of the oldest wizarding families, he had known from a young age that he was destined for great things.  Growing up he had always had an easy life; gifted with good looks, an immense talent for athletics and a remarkable aptitude at academics – he was the golden child. Perhaps that was why he had a penchant for trouble – because he could.

 

Truth was, charming as his adolescent life was; James Potter knew he had limited time on his hands. The moment he graduated he would merely become another pawn in the raging was against Voldemort. He knew now was the time to live, to chase impossible dreams.

 

But at this moment he was invincible, and he would soar as high, and as fast as he could.

 

 

_I wish that clouds could hold me up_  
Like I thought as a child growing up  
I wish I could sound as soothing as the rainfall  
But I am only a drop from the storm  
 

 

**\------**

**I needed an outlet, and so this was born.**

**getting around to replying to comments & promised reading of stories this weekend. x**


	27. the golden age & the silver girl

 

_Well I know that you don't love me now_

_But I'm gonna love you anyhow_

\--------

    
   
   
They were friends now, but like a young boy pulling pigtails, he still got a kick from teasing her.   
   
For the greater part of the first hour of patrol they had been walking in a comfortable silence when she suddenly began fumbling around her cloak, "Where's my wand?"  
  
Stopping, she took off her cloak and began to shake it. "No, seriously James, I can't find it."  
  
He knew he would have to reveal soon that her wand was in fact safely tucked away inside his cloak, but for the moment he enjoyed watching her squirm.   
  
As she looked back down the dimly lit hallway once again, he could see the worry beginning to write itself on her face.  
  
"Looking for this?" he asked, dangling her wand above her head.   
  
  
Chuckling, he grinned widely as they danced around in circles as she attempted to snatch back her wand. Every now and then she would manage to jump high enough to brush his hand, but the moment would always end just as fast as it began.   
  
  
Grabbing her hand in his he playfully quipped, "come on now Evans, if you wanted to hold my hand you just had to say so."  
   
    


\------  


 

 

_And you don't see me like I see you_

_But I'm gonna be here when you do_

 

 

 

**hello!!  long time no see! my writing is very rusty - 2 years to be exact! I even accidentally uploaded the chapter to the wrong story is how long I've been gone :$**

**feedback always loved & adored. hopefully I will see some familiar & new names :)**


	28. it's always darkest before the dawn

_Regrets collect like old friends_  
Here to relive your darkest moments  
I can see no way, I can see no way

 

\-----

 

She remembers being young - six and a half to be exact.

 

She remembers lying in the park that warm summer's day with Severus,  
engrossed in his words as he described a magical world in their distant  
future. Even at such a young age she knew that she and he could spend  
much of their lives growing older together.

 

That evening her mother had sent Petty to look for her when she had not returned by sunset.

 

\-----

 

Standing at the alter she still can't believe that she is marrying into one of the wizarding world's oldest families.

 

But she will always remember that warm summer day, a lifetime and a half ago.

 

 

 

 

**thanks for reading! feedback always adored!**


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